The entire male population of the world today made a heartfelt public apology for absolutely everything they might ever have done to upset women. In a pitiful display of insincere remorse and half-arsed grovelling, men everywhere said that they deeply, deeply regretted doing whatever it was that they got caught doing. All men have now... »
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Massive Twitter phishing attack confuses millions
As leading news sources reported a widespread Twitter phishing attack today, millions of people were left wondering what the hell a Twitter phishing attack is. While the small handful of self-important media-twats who actually use Twitter spent the day shrieking as though the world... »
Apple announces highly anticipated MaxiPad
Ending months of speculation, Apple today officially launched its newest must-have gadget, the MaxiPad. At a glitzy US press event, Apple CEO Steve Jobs told the assembled mass of compliant, unquestioning journalists “The MaxiPad is designed to fill a huge gap in the market... »
Working class people to be fitted with volume control chips
The Conservative Party today announced a key election campaign pledge to have all of Britain’s working class people fitted with special volume control micro-chips, to prevent them from talking... »
Santa Claus arrested, Christmas in crisis
The future of Christmas is in doubt today as the world reacts to the news that Santa Claus has been arrested on child porn charges. Last night an Interpol... »
Government bans more fun things
The government today announced that some things which used to be perfectly legal have now been banned in order to prevent people from having fun with them. Anybody found... »