In the clearest sign yet that he may be prepared to strike a deal with the Conservative Party, the Liberal Democrat leader Nick Clegg today publicly invited David Cameron to suck him off. Speaking to reporters outside his party headquarters, Clegg said “As leader of the party with the largest share of the vote,...
The entire male population of the world today made a heartfelt public apology for absolutely everything they might ever have done to upset women. In a pitiful display of insincere remorse and half-arsed grovelling, men everywhere said that they deeply, deeply regretted doing whatever...
As leading news sources reported a widespread Twitter phishing attack today, millions of people were left wondering what the hell a Twitter phishing attack is. While the small handful of self-important media-twats who actually use Twitter spent the day shrieking as though the world...
Ending months of speculation, Apple today officially launched its newest must-have gadget, the MaxiPad. At a glitzy US press event, Apple CEO Steve Jobs told the assembled mass of...
The Conservative Party today announced a key election campaign pledge to have all of Britain’s working class people fitted with special volume control micro-chips, to prevent them from talking...
The future of Christmas is in doubt today as the world reacts to the news that Santa Claus has been arrested on child porn charges. Last night an Interpol...