The Bank of England's sophisticated economic models predict an upturn next year
The British economy will pull through the recession and see GDP grow by 2% next year, according to the Bank of England’s chief economist, Russell Grant. In an interview with the BBC, Grant said “I see Mercury moving into the house of Aquarius while Mars and Saturn are in alignment, this signals an end to deflation by November and sustained growth in industrial output. This will also be a good time to mend fences with an estranged family member.”
Grant’s comments were given a cautious welcome by the stock market which rose 1.7% following his interview, although those gains were wiped out with a 6% fall when it emerged that a trader at the London Stock Exchange had walked under a ladder on his way to work in the morning.
However, some believe the Bank of England’s prediction to be based on an unreliable model. The Financial Times economics editor, Druidic Shaman Stephen Moonglow, told us “The Bank’s predictions are overly optimistic in my opinion. I slaughtered a goat during the Vernal Equinox and the entrails clearly showed that the recession will continue well into 2011 due to restricted access to credit and low consumer spending.”
The International Monetary Fund also threw cold water the Bank of England’s optimism. In a prepared statement issued to the media today, the IMF said that fortune cookies collected from a selection of Chinese restaurants gave clear indications that the economic outlook is unlikely to improve for at least two years.