Harman: "I am definitely not planning a leadership challenge. Probably. Can we talk about something else?"
Cabinet minister were quick to offer tepid support for Gordon Brown’s leadership today, following a apparent media attack on the Prime Minister from front-bencher Hazel Blears. The Communities Minister was keen to put her comments into context “When I said that Gordon Brown’s leadership of the Labour Party had been a dismal failure that would make us unelectable for the next twenty years, clearly the point I wanted to make was that everything is absolutely fine and we all agree that Gordon is the best man for the job.” Blears went on to slap her forehead repeatedly whilst making a ‘spazzy face’ gesture at a photograph of the Prime Minister hanging on the wall of her office.
Jack Straw, the Secretary of State for Justice downplayed any suggestion of a rift in the government. Speaking to reporters at a hastily convened press conference, Straw said “Let me be absolutely clear, the party stands united behind the Prime Minister. Personally, I think he’s doing a marvellous job, and I really, really mean that, I’m definitely not just saying it because he’s threatened to shit-can me if I step out of line” before pointedly demonstrating to members of the press that his fingers were crossed behind his back the whole time.
Press reports of a potential leadership challenge from Labour Party Deputy Harriet Harman has been dismissed as little more than unfounded speculation. Harman told journalists outside her home “The video footage of me saying that I am definitely planning to challenge Gordon for the leadership of the party has been taken completely out of context. I can tell you that I am certainly not interested in mounting any such challenge, now or in the future. Wink, wink – if you know what I mean… “
Reports from inside Downing Street suggest that the Prime Minister is unconcerned by rumours of a growing schism in his government, and that he spends most of his time in the loft, playing with his model railway.