Beckett: "All the boys know I'm the tightest piece of ass in Parliament"
Following the departure of two female cabinet members this week, leaders of the three main political parties were urged to recruit more minge to work in the House of Commons. Conservative Shadow Chancellor, George Osborne, said “When I first got into politics I thought I’d be rolling in the pussy, but this place is like a fucking sausage-factory. It’s tragic, for every piece of skirt in Parliament there’s about thirty dicks all trying to get a sniff.”
A cross-party action group has been formed to find ways of encouraging more skirt to pursue careers in politics. Early proposals include plans to introduce nicer cushions and soft furnishings to the chamber, and a Ladies Night 2 for 1 drinks offer in the House of Commons bar on Thursday evenings.
The plans have not been met with universal approval, however. Housing and Planning Minister, Margaret Beckett, said “Bollocks to that, the last thing I need is more competition. Before I started working here I couldn’t get a look in, but now the dirty fuckers are queuing up for a go on my fun-zone.”