The eighties. Not. Fucking. Funny.
Friends and neighbours of Trevor Pendleton, a graphic designer from Stoke Newington, today urged the tedious cunt to stop going on about eighties popular culture as though it’s the single funniest fucking thing in the world ever.
Speaking on condition of anonymity, one of Pendleton’s colleagues said “I swear to god, if Trevor makes one more pseudo-ironic reference to ‘The Hoff’ I’m going to stave his face in with that original 1985 Optimus-Prime he keeps on his desk. What is it with the fucking eighties anyway? Nobody cares.”
Professor Donald Gascoigne, an expert on tiresome cocks who think they’re fucking hilarious, told us “This is a sadly common condition. People who aren’t very funny often like to talk endlessly about how great stuff from the eighties was, using ironic nostalgia as a substitute for actual wit. But recent scientific studies have proven that the eighties were, in fact, shit.”
Pendleton remains unrepentant “Remember the A Team? That was the best TV show ever, they should definitely bring it back, that would be awesome. And Wagon Wheels too! I think you can still buy them, but they’re definitely smaller, what’s that all about? Hahaha!”