Recession Over as Everybody Just Starts to Feel a Bit Better About Things

Consumer confidence to be increased by Gok Wan showing everybody how to wear nicer clothes

The Institute of Chartered Accountants today announced that the recession is officially over because everybody’s feeling a bit better about things now that we’ve won the Ashes.

Speaking at a press conference this morning, president of the ICA, Martin Hagen, said “It’s undoubtedly been a difficult year for the British economy, but with the recent sunny weather magically wiping out hundreds of billions of pounds of national debt the situation has rapidly improved.”

Hagen went on to explain that the England cricket team’s victory over Australia at the weekend had increased business confidence in UK’s financial services industry and ensured higher levels of credit availability.

Chancellor, Alistair Darling, responded to the announcement on Newsnight, telling Kirsty Wark “We initially thought it would take years of economic hardship and shrewd fiscal policy to gradually pull Britain out of recession, but now the Treasury understands that all we really need is for everybody to just cheer up a bit and try to look on the bright side of things.”

“It turns out that the economy is all about confidence,” Darling added “So next time the shit hits the fan, we’ll just get Gok Wan to show everybody how to choose more flattering outfits and that should fix everything up a treat.”