After dumping a load on David Cameron's face, Mr Clegg insisted that a deal with the Tories was far from certain, commenting "There's plenty of this left if Brown wants a go."
In the clearest sign yet that he may be prepared to strike a deal with the Conservative Party, the Liberal Democrat leader Nick Clegg today publicly invited David Cameron to suck him off. Speaking to reporters outside his party headquarters, Clegg said “As leader of the party with the largest share of the vote, I believe it is only right that Mr Cameron should have the first opportunity to nosh me off.”
Campaigners for electoral reform urged Mr Clegg not to empty his load in Cameron’s mouth, insisting that the Tory leader must further agree to “give Clegg’s nutsack an extensive tonguing and then take it on the face like a nasty little bitch” before any coalition could be formed by the two parties.
Following Thursday’s election, which left the UK with a hung parliament, Whitehall has seen a flurry of behind the scenes deal-making. As the Tory and Lib Dem parties continue negotiations, Gordon Brown has been forced to deep-throat the leaders of several smaller parties, including Plaid Cymru and Sinn Fein.
“I want to make it absolutely clear…” Brown said, “…to secure a strong and decisive government, I am prepared to swallow absolutely anybody’s mess. We are committed to resolving this situation as early as possible for the good of the nation – I will also do bareback, anal and watersports.”