A parliamentary debate on whether to increase funding for military equipment in Afghanistan was interrupted today when MPs noticed that it had begun to snow. The shadow home secretary, Chris Grayling, first noticed the snow whilst he was returning to his seat in the chamber “I’d just popped out for a quick shit, and... »
The pop world was in mourning today, following the shock news that chart topping pop act, Girls Aloud, has been entirely wiped out by a pack of rabid chimpanzees. The attack took place last night during a live performance at the Milton Keynes Bowl, in front of a crowd of nearly 65,000 horrified fans. Approximately... »
35 year old Richard Walker, an advertising account manager from London, is today being treated for severe shock after attempting to play Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 online for the first time. “I don’t understand what the fuck just happened” said Walker as he was led away by paramedics “I thought I knew how... »
Secretary of State, Peter Mandelson, will today begin a tour of major towns and cities in the UK, during which he intends to stamp on the heads of over seven hundred helpless kittens. It is reported that Lord Mandelson hopes to horribly traumatise the hundreds of thousands of young children who will be forced... »
The Institute of Chartered Accountants today announced that the recession is officially over because everybody’s feeling a bit better about things now that we’ve won the Ashes. Speaking at a press conference this morning, president of the ICA, Martin Hagen, said “It’s undoubtedly been a difficult year for the British economy, but with the recent... »
