Fucking hell, it’s snowing!

Wednesday, December 16, 2009
Fucking hell, it’s snowing!

A parliamentary debate on whether to increase funding for military equipment in Afghanistan was interrupted today when MPs noticed that it had begun to snow. The shadow home secretary, Chris Grayling, first noticed the snow whilst he was returning to his seat in the chamber “I’d just popped out for a quick shit, and... »

Girls Aloud savaged to death by enraged chimpanzees

Tuesday, December 15, 2009
Girls Aloud savaged to death by enraged chimpanzees

The pop world was in mourning today, following the shock news that chart topping pop act, Girls Aloud, has been entirely wiped out by a pack of rabid chimpanzees. The attack took place last night during a live performance at the Milton Keynes Bowl, in front of a crowd of nearly 65,000 horrified fans. Approximately... »

Brown tells voters: Please, not the face!

Monday, December 14, 2009
Brown tells voters: Please, not the face!

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Modern Warfare 2 leaves middle aged gamer confused and afraid

Monday, December 14, 2009
Modern Warfare 2 leaves middle aged gamer confused and afraid

35 year old Richard Walker, an advertising account manager from London, is today being treated for severe shock after attempting to play Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 online for the first time. “I don’t understand what the fuck just happened” said Walker as he was led away by paramedics “I thought I knew how... »

Lord Mandelson Begins National Kitten-Stamping Tour

Wednesday, August 26, 2009
Lord Mandelson Begins National Kitten-Stamping Tour

Secretary of State, Peter Mandelson, will today begin a tour of major towns and cities in the UK, during which he intends to stamp on the heads of over seven hundred helpless kittens. It is reported that Lord Mandelson hopes to horribly traumatise the hundreds of thousands of young children who will be forced... »

Recession Over as Everybody Just Starts to Feel a Bit Better About Things

Monday, August 24, 2009
Recession Over as Everybody Just Starts to Feel a Bit Better About Things

The Institute of Chartered Accountants today announced that the recession is officially over because everybody’s feeling a bit better about things now that we’ve won the Ashes. Speaking at a press conference this morning, president of the ICA, Martin Hagen, said “It’s undoubtedly been a difficult year for the British economy, but with the recent... »